Embracing Insomnia

 

It’s funny how life works sometimes… I recently (last weekend!) ran across the original magazine that holds the original article on Embracing Insomnia. When David and Sarah asked about a recap, it had already been floating around in my broken noggin. This article was written at the 13 year mark. I am now at 21.5 years. Still ‘embracing the insomnia’ the best I can… Here is my ‘update’.

Since I wrote this originally, I changed careers (again) and went back to work full time (VERY proud of that!). I have also been a caretaker for my husband, who had vascular dementia, along with working my regular job. Honestly, insomnia probably was the largest assist during this time, because I had more hours to work with throughout the day than most people. My husband passed away 2 years ago, leaving me a bit broken and lost. I relocated from my coastal home to be closer to my family and have retired from my job. I still do advocacy regarding brain injury and also try to support those coping through the loss of a spouse.

As I sit in my little dining area at 5 AM writing this, I have been up since 2:15 AM. I have read for an hour, done a workout, and puttered. When I woke this morning, I looked at the clock and thought, “well… at least I am productive!” I try VERY hard to continue to be kind to what sleep I DO get, by appreciating it. That was a mind shift that I had to focus on… My fitness tracker says I got 4 hours. 4 is actually good. Most days it is still 3 hours. I don’t have a choice in extending that. No, I don’t nap. It just does not work for me. So HOW do I make this work?

Routine – For me, this is a key factor of gaining that added hour or so.

·         I do my “heavy thinking” in the morning. My day is balanced as best I can with the big things in the early hours. Appointments, conversations, decisions… all before 2 PM. If something varies, it will affect me. I have perfected the statement, “I will need to get back to you tomorrow about that.”

·         I don’t speak on the phone after 5 PM, generally. I tend to overthink and go over conversations too much to speak to others late in the day. I do have Aphasia and am always second guessing my words.

·         I get into relaxed clothing and basically am a lump 🙂. My movements are smaller, my choices limited, and I just try to be as calm as I can.

·         I utilize my planner/accomplishment journal as a ‘brain dump’ of sorts. I check off what I have accomplished throughout the day and what I need to move forward to the next. Otherwise, I just think too much! This has been such a tremendous tool for growth for me.

·         Meds… I take my meds as I am headed to bed. I fill weekly medication holders ahead of time, so I don’t have to worry about fussing with them each night. Again, turning off my thinking to allow for rest.

·         GRACE. I try very hard to give myself grace. I don’t have a choice in this. I didn’t plan this path and unless I do everything wrong, I am doing my best. 

Bedtime – I tend to go to rest at 8 PM. I may read a bit. I still do have a sound machine (I even use it camping, friends! YUP! Battery operated!), and there may be a show on in the background (no rough and tumble shows, mainly something I have seen and get bored by!). It can generally take 2 hours of winding down for me to sleep.

Update on Melatonin – I have upped my dose to 20 mg. I take a tab that dissolves under my tongue. This helps me to fall asleep. I know there are studies… this is what is working for me. I did find out that the pill form can take up to 3 HOURS to work, so I encourage people to check with their physician, but to use something that dissolves easily.

I am 66 currently, soon to be 67. The universal “THEY” (who are these people?) say that we need less rest as we get older. Gosh, I hope I stay where I am! Less is rough! Mainly, I appreciate that my brain is functioning this morning for some reason, and I am still here to talk about it 🙂. We are survivors. Loud and Proud.

 Author: Barb George