When Vulnerability Meets Exploitation

Have you ever been taken advantage of because of your disability? Have you ever found yourself in a vulnerable situation and not known where to turn for help?

This article is difficult for me to write, but I believe it is an important conversation for our community.

Personal relationships can be challenging after a traumatic brain injury (TBI). While we often talk about recovery, symptoms, accommodations, and support, we talk far less about vulnerability. Yet vulnerability is something many of us face every day.

Over the past several years, I found myself in a relationship that gradually became unhealthy. Looking back, I can now see warning signs that I either missed or explained away. What began as a supportive and caring partnership slowly evolved into a situation where criticism, control, and financial decisions increasingly worked against my best interests.

At the time, I believed I was making reasonable choices based on trust. Like many survivors, I wanted to believe the best in someone I cared about. I also wanted the future we had planned together.

Unfortunately, trust without safeguards can create risk.

As the relationship progressed, I made a series of financial decisions that ultimately left me in a far more vulnerable position than I ever imagined possible. Assets I had worked years to build disappeared. Financial security I had carefully created after my brain injury was lost. The stress became overwhelming, and my ability to cope with it deteriorated.

Today, I am rebuilding my life.

While every relationship is different, my experience has caused me to think deeply about how brain injury can affect our ability to recognize and respond to manipulation, coercion, or financial exploitation.

Many survivors live with challenges involving memory, processing speed, executive functioning, emotional regulation, self confidence, or social judgment. These difficulties do not make us incapable. However, they can sometimes make it harder to identify red flags, especially when those red flags come from someone we love, trust, or depend upon.

Looking back, there are several lessons I wish I had understood earlier:

• Major financial decisions should never be made without independent advice.

• Important agreements should be documented in writing, even within close relationships.

• If trusted friends or family members express concerns, it is worth listening carefully rather than becoming defensive.

• Maintaining financial independence and access to personal resources is important.

• When something feels wrong, it usually deserves closer examination.

Most importantly, I learned that asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

One of the challenges many brain injury survivors face is that we often work so hard to appear independent that we hesitate to reach out when problems begin to emerge. We tell ourselves we can handle it. We don't want to burden others. We don't want to appear incapable.

Sometimes that isolation can make us even more vulnerable.

Part of the reason I am sharing this story is because I believe people living with disabilities, especially brain injuries, need better protections and better access to resources when financial exploitation, manipulation, or coercion occur.

I also believe we need to talk about these issues more openly.

If you are a survivor, caregiver, family member, or friend, I encourage you to have these conversations. Ask questions. Seek advice. Get a second opinion before making major financial decisions. Create safeguards before you think you need them.

I cannot change what happened to me. What I can do is share my experience and use it to advocate for greater awareness within our community.

If this article helps even one person recognize a warning sign, protect their finances, seek support, or avoid a similar situation, then sharing it will have been worthwhile.

 

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𝗠𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗔𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗦𝘂𝘀𝗮𝗻

 

Susan Gallant is a Canadian survivor who sustained a severe traumatic brain injury in February 2011 after a horseback riding accident that caused extensive facial fractures and a serious head injury. Before her injury, she was a successful real estate agent who thrived in a fast paced, socially connected career. Today Susan lives on a one-hundred-acre farm in rural Ontario, where she raises and shows English Mastiffs. With more than fifteen years of lived experience, she brings insight, compassion, and encouragement to the BIHN community while supporting others on their recovery journeys.